Never make eye contact in Parc Émilie-Gamelin | Physical | Nsec26

Story Time

Sideni’s Story

As many of you might know, a lot of us come from UQAM (_HACKEZ^LA_RUE^!) and many others have wandered the same lands. And so, we’ve walked past Parc Émilie-Gamelin more than once…

We’ve encountered many interesting folks. It’s like walking on Route 37 from Violet City to Ecruteak City, you WILL be stopped by some random encounters.

Sideni: *Walking past Parc Émilie-Gamelin minding my own business*

Random dude in some outdoor public bathroom installed there for some reason: Yooo come check this out, I’ve gotta 5 gallons of [unintelligible mumble]. I gonna make you a really good price

Sideni: *Still walking* No, I’m good

Random dude: No, no, come in here. 5 gallons!

Sideni: Nonono thanks though.

Random dude: It’s good really. Come in here, I’ll show you!

Sideni: *Walking faster* Nonononononononononononono…

Just like facing a Metapod, after a while, you learn the button sequence to leave the encounter early. (spam A, right, down, A)

From time to time, however, you will end up spamming A too much and end up in the FIGHT menu. If you’ve spammed A enough, you might have used TACKLE!

A true connoisseur knows this makes running away much more difficult… In these scenarios, you need to keep calm and improvise.

This happened earlier this year, in March, when I was walking to our weekly training session at Benelux.

Sideni: *Still going through Parc Émilie-Gamelin hoping the PRNG will be good to me*

Random dude’: Psssssstt…

Sideni to himself: Sounds like an “Updated terms and conditions” email I can safely ignore, let’s do that

Random dude’: You dare ignore Solarius, the Sun’s son?

Sideni: Solar what? *Oh god, what have I done…*

The druid: Did you know that there exist magic crystals? They can produce light and give you powers if you dare have a taste!

Sideni: I’m sure there are, yes.

Random dude’: Look! Look! *while showing me a plastic bag full of crystals* Combined with the sacred wood, these will give you enough light to go through the darkest nights.

Sideni: Sounds totally legit! And what is that sacred wood you’re talking about?

Random dude’: I don’t have any with me, the cops took them from me…

Sideni: They didn’t want you to have that power?

Random dude’: Making fun of me? I’m telling you, those crystals have got infinite power.

Sideni: What kind of powers?

Random dude’: Many kinds! They taste good, they make me run fast, and I swear, that’s what Hydro Montréal uses to power the Sun.

Sideni: Riiiiight…

Random dude’: I swear man, these are the future and people up there don’t want us to know.

Sideni: You sure about that?

Random dude’: Do I look like someone who wouldn’t know?

Sideni: Yeah, fair enough…

Random dude’: The prophecy says that only the chosen one will be able to have these crystals shine by themselves.

Sideni: Are you sure you’re okay?

Random dude’: Look, my friend, I can give you one. It’s gonna open your eyes once and for all.

Sideni: Sounds like a trap. *suspicious look*

Random dude’: No dude, look, take one and just taste it.

Sideni: I don’t know man, sounds a lot like drugs.

Random dude’: That’s what they want you to think, man! You need to break free!

Sideni: I really have to go, I got an exam on the stove and have to feed the cat who’s waiting for me at the bar.

Random dude’: You’re weird…

Useless to say, this taught me exactly what to do in what was yet to come. And somehow, I don’t remember a thing from the rest of that day…

Hellnia’s Story

This happened during NorthSec in the early morning after the first moon.

Hellnia went to find the druid (don’t worry, we’re making sure Hellnia is okay). Before leaving, Hellnia told us: “I’ve heard that this druid has got some good shit to pimp the bagels!”

It took a few hours before we heard back from Hellnia. It was from an old radio he left on our table before leaving:

Hellnia from the radio: *static noise* Hey? It works?

Me: Have you said anything, Jean?

Jean: No, I’m trying to water this plant, but the wifi keeps planting…

Hellnia: Guys, it’s me! *static noise* I can hear you!

Me: Is that Hellnia?

Hellnia: Yes, yes!! List*static noise* I don’t have much time with this antenna before someone takes ov*static noise* my MAC address!

Me: How can we talk back to him?

Hellnia: Don’t worry about that, I can hear you. The druid has given me a crystal, but it tastes funny…

Me: I’m listening…

Hellnia: His name is Solarium, the Sun Lord. Basically, he told me that the sacred wood can make it shine *static noise* He told me that only the chosen one can make it shine by itself. This will complete the prophecy and will bring infinite energy to *static noise*

-----BEGIN MEME INTERLUDE-----

-----END MEME INTERLUDE-----

Me: Solar what? What wood? What light? What energy? Come back!

The static noise continued…

The hours passed and at some point, we were starting to get worried… On the horizon, however, we saw through the crowd reappear our beloved Hellnia who looked like he had seen things.

He was back with a crystal!

We all looked at it. We weighed it, we shaked it, we tasted it, we looked through it, but nothing.

We checked for RFID, for NFC, and for other IoT technologies, but nothing.

We tried applying wood, nothing either… We tried reapplying wood as it was maybe not applied correctly the first time.

Still nothing…

We all thought: “Maybe the secret is hidden inside?” That broke our crystal…

At this moment, Hellnia realized there was nothing to worry about as he had not given our team name to the druid. Also, he was not wearing his Hubert Hackin’’ t-shirt, not wearing his Hubert Hackin’’ hoodie, not wearing his Hubert Hackin’’ cap, and was not walking with his Hubert Hackin’’ flag while singing the Hubert Hackin’’ anthem “Tsoin’’ Tsoin’’, On est Hubert Hackin’’ Coin’’ Coin’’” (yes, we failed zoology).

All that meant we could successfully get another crystal!

Jean’s Story

Jean went alone on this next quest. He went downstairs and walked around the catacombs twice before going to see the admins. After some time, Jean found the druid in the SolderinG village hidden behind a post. He was crafting crystals with a huge bag of crystals on one side and multiple crystal components on the other.

Jean politely interrupted him:

Jean: Are you the druid with infinite energy?

The druid: *Trying to hide his craft on the soldering table* I suppose you’ve heard the tale?

Jean: I might have had a few words, but it’s not clear…

The druid: I am Solario, the Sun Warden! I’m the messenger of the prophecy.

Jean: Must be quite the job!

The druid: It is, indeed. There are these crystals, you see, that when in contact with sacred wood, shine as bright as day.

Jean: That’s interesting.

The druid: That’s not all! The prophecy says that the chosen will be able to make this crystal shine by itself. That day, we will have solved our need for energy!

Jean: Great! Have you got any of these crystals?

The druid: Ahem… Now is not really a good time *while pushing a bag of crystal connectors under the table* What is your team number?

Jean: I don’t really remember. It is between 1 and 500?

The druid looked annoyed. He took a good intense look at Jean, his outfit, and after a few seconds said:

The druid: You’re with Hubert HaCoin’’. I’ll come see you at your table

Jean to himself: Bigre, ce type a des pouvoirs!

The Chosen One

This year, at NorthSec, while I was working on 4 challenges at the same time while socializing with friends, someone came up to us. Nothing I hadn’t seen before at Parc Émilie-Gamelin.

The druid: Welcome folks, have you heard the tale?

Us: We’re listening.

The druid: I am Solar-Man, the Sun King! There are magic crystals coming from astral powers and when they are in contact with the earth and the sacred wood, they produce light.

Us: Oh really? Are you able to show us?

The druid: Sure! I’ve got this shiny purple crystal and when I place it onto this branch, light shines!

Us: Impressive! Have you got any more of these crystals?

-----BEGIN MEME INTERLUDE-----

-----END MEME INTERLUDE-----

The druid: *Pulls out a plastic bag full of them*

Us: *whispering* Feels just like home.

The druid: What was that?

Us: Nothing.

The druid: Here’s a crystal for you.

Us: Can we also get that wooden branch you’ve got there?

The druid: NO! IT’S MINE!

-----BEGIN MEME INTERLUDE-----

-----END MEME INTERLUDE-----

The druid: The prophecy, however, says that the chosen one will be able to light these crystals without the earth and without the sacred wood. That they will light up only from their sacred touch!

Sideni: I guess we can say… it’s my time to shine!

My teammates: …

The druid: You’re a new dad, right?

Sideni: …

The druid: Anyway, may you walk a path of light and bring the prophecy to an end! *Vanishes in the crowd*

Us: Home sweet home

I already knew at that moment what I had to do with that crystal.

I picked up an old and empty soda can, and cut a whole in it.

I placed the crystal at the bottom of the can and went to look for a lighter…

I came back with tape and wooden sticks.

I took the crystal out of the can, removed the can pin, folded it and taped it on one end of the crystal which had metal connectors.

The crystal suddenly lit up and my self-confidence came back.

To hide the subterfuge and prove I was the chosen one, I taped wooden sticks to that contraption and went to find the druid.

All in all, nothing out of the ordinary. It was just like what we were taught in school.

The druid looked at the glowing crystal. Then at the wooden sticks. He picked it up and examined it carefully. Gently. Then, he tossed it onto a nearby table. The tape held. The crystal did not event flicker. The prophecy had been fulfilled.

The druid was really impressed that the chosen one had been found, that the Earth was saved, and that the solution, which only the chosen one could have found, was, and had always been, to be one with nature, tape and wooden sticks.

Tien, he opened his grimoire.

I thought that was weird. Normally, only wizards require spellbooks. Druids and clerics prepare their spells from their class list without books. Was this guy really a druid after all?

In any case, this got us the flag FLAG-TheHardestToHiddenIsTheBattery.

When walking back to our table, we heard behind us:

The druid to other people: Welcome folks, have you heard the tale?

Random folks: No?

The druid: I am Solarovitch, the Sun CISO and I have magic crystals for you.

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